"You're Just Overthinking!" and other Useless Shit™️ We Say When We're Desperate to Help but Don't Know How (Part II)

Back in my tenor days, I took a trip to Germany to perform Tamino in Die Zauberflöte at a scrappy pay-to-sing program in a provincial town called Sulzbach-Rosenberg. At first, I was excited by the opportunity–I loved Tamino’s character, his music, his story. Having recently joined Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia (OASAASLLS), I was also thrilled to explore themes of ancient mystery, symbolism, and fraternity in Schikaneder’s libretto. 

The only problem was I couldn’t sing the damn thing. 

At 21, I was probably too young to even attempt it. My technique was a MESS, and my mind was a bigger mess. I fixated obsessively on everything my tenor was not: Bright. Ringing. Clear. Actionless adjectives swirled around in my mind.

But I was lucky to study with a man by the name of Dr. Stephen Ng. A tenor himself, he was familiar with the challenges of the role, and with the anxiety I was feeling. A calm, grounding presence full of sassy exuberance, he became a kind of sardonic sage to me, helping me navigate both the technical challenges of the role and the mental tactics it required. 

During one lesson, I rose to a G4 that didn’t feel quite right. It was stuffy, overly covered, small, effortful. I stopped myself, ashamed. “That wasn’t good.”

“Lucas,” he replied, “what do you want that sound to be?” 

I paused. I hadn’t considered it. 

“...I guess, more open? More free?” 

“Okay. Do it like that.” 

I stopped. I imagined. Then, I attempted. Suddenly, there it was. Clarion, heroic, easy. For a moment, I was Tamino. 

“Sorcery,” I thought to myself. “There’s no way it’s this simple.”

Sensing my suspicion, Dr. Ng responded:

“Everything you just said? I want you to stop thinking about those things and instead, actually do those things.” 

Apologetic, I replied “Yeah, I guess I just get nervous.”

“You won’t have time to be nervous. You shouldn’t get nervous, you should be busy.”  

Busy. My 21-year-old Galaxy Brain busied itself with anything but singing–it was in the judgement of the singing, criticisms, objectification. I only attended to my singing retroactively, losing myself in labyrinthine thoughts of worthiness and ability. It was a poor use of my thought and consciousness–those thoughts took up the mental real estate I needed to actually direct myself to make the sounds I wanted to make. 

But I wasn’t “overthinking.”

I was thinking about the wrong damn thing.

As long as we live in these incredible brains, we will not free ourselves from thought. It’s as hopeless as winning The Game™️ (damn, I lost): Thinking about not thinking will never be a viable path towards a desired outcome. But the wonderful thing about thinking is that we get to choose what we think about. We are at once masters and prisoners within our own minds–we can’t escape, but while we’re up here, we can run shit. 

So how do you let go of fighting against thought and fight with it instead? 

Tell ya more next week. 

Stay Busy. Stay Honest, Stay You. 

–Lucas